porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Randomize
