His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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