I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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