Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
is it fun? or sober?
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