Having a random hookup so left but love u
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
