I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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