what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
