The maid of honor just puked.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
