I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
How's work?
Spinning.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
