cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
