yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
