Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
