she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
nutella sex= disaster
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
