He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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