Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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