PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
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