I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
