CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
