I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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