He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
