with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
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