I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
last night I used snow as a chaser
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
