Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
