the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
