I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
should my penis look like a turkey
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Randomize
