in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
