hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Randomize
