Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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