Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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