C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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