Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
