She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
