I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
