i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
try to milk me bitch
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