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• (312): View more from Illinois

  dude, your ex-bf is on match.com

  (847): View more from Illinois

  details on that.

  (312): View more from Illinois

  well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.

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• (225): View more from Louisiana

  at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.

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• (217): View more from Illinois

  you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...

  (1-217): View more from Illinois

  please don't ever take me to a strip club again...

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• (636): View more from Missouri

  The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high

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• (586): View more from Michigan

  Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?

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• (817): View more from Texas

  I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude

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• (949): View more from California

  I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice

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• (360): View more from Washington

  I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.

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• (352): View more from Florida

  I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning

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