Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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