white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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