Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
