It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Less talking, more tequila
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
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