I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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