there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
