Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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