Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
