Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
