What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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