we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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