just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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