This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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