there were more penises there than on chat roulette
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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