get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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